Hello everyone! Happy Tuesday. I've been MIA since last week and that is because I have been super busy!

I think I may have mentioned this but I am now officially super mom! *Cue the theme song* But really, I volunteer at my sons school for the local APA (their version of the PTA) and it is very time consuming. Fun, but since its my first year and I am still learning the ropes, its overwhelming.

Anyway, can we please talk about Breaking Bad? I mean...what the actual fuck just happened? ****DISCLAIMER- Spoiler alerts ahead. If you are not caught up, DO NOT READ AHEAD!*****

Hank. Poor Hank. He was my favorite (besides Saul). I knew it had to happen, but it made me so sad. I cried for 30 minutes after watching it last night. (Finally caught up!) I feel like this is going to be one of those shows where no one survives, except maybe Flynn and Holly. Maybe Skyler too.

I know Marie is going to have her moment next episode. She is about to go bat shit crazy ya'll. I can't believe how my emotions have been played with so much! I was totally rooting for Walt in the beginning. I thought to myself "how can Skyler be so cunty? If she only knew what he was doing for her and their kids".  Man, do I feel STUPID.

I don't even have the slightest clue where this is going but I know one thing, I will either need a Xanax or to smoke a bowl beforehand.

Thoughts? Also, kudos to twitter. You have been on fire with the trending topics and meme's the last few days!

Breaking Bad on Buzzfeed

Its raining in Arizona!

Holy moly. Has hell froze over? Its rained 2 days in a row here in AZ. This doesn't happen as much as I would like.

Anyway, no big blog today. Just a catch up post to say hello! The look of this blog is going to be changing very soon, so stay tuned! Also, I'd love to hear feedback on topics. Right now this blog is pretty random. And I'd love for this to be a forum to open discussions in your lives about things that are going on.

Also, since its fucking Monday, you have my permission to treat yourself! Go have a pedicure, buy the purse, and eat some chocolate.  Have a great week!

Its Game Day!

Today is a very special day. Its Game Day! Do you know what that means? Its an excuse to yell, cheer, drink booze and eat fried food and not feel guilty! YAY!!!!

I love this time of year. The weather is changing, well, for most of you. If you are in Arizona like me, its only getting hotter and muggier. We have a high of 110 today. Yes you read that right. One hundred and ten fucking degrees. And today is opening night for Arizona State. Shoot. Me. Now. Oh well, a true fan doesn't let a little heat get in the way.

We have been season ticket holders for years. My parents were when I was a kid and now my husband and I are. Phoenix is the 5th largest city in the country. ASU is the largest university in the country, recently surpassing Ohio State for that title. What what! All those people and most of them are from somewhere else. My husband and I are both second generation natives to this state, which is super rare. So, we hope to pass on what little tradition we have to our son, a future Devil. I will 100% disown him if he even thinks about choosing that school down south, of which, we don't speak.

So, here's to another great college football season. Give em' hell Devils!!

September is IC Awareness Month

Hello friends. This is my second post for September and its only the 4th! I'm super excited about the fact that I have been dedicated to this blog for 48 hours.

 I know my posts are usually filled with humor and lots of cursing, but today I would like to take a minute to talk about something a little more serious. (So PSA of me, right?)

September is a month that is very near and dear to my heart. It is Interstitial Cystitis and Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. If you don't live under a rock, you know that ovarian cancer is a very serious, and deadly disease. For women between the ages of 35-74, ovarian cancer is the 5th leading cause of death. It is estimated that 1 in 71 women will develop ovarian cancer in their lifetime. (source: www.ovariancancer.org). I have been fortunate enough to not be diagnosed with ovarian cancer, or know anyone that has,  but I know people, who know people. It's also a very real possibility to be in my future in some way, shape or form. I will provide links and info at the end for anyone looking!

 Interstitial Cystitis. Its the most uncomfortable, permanent bladder pain you probably have never heard of. While the numbers are not concrete, they are growing daily. Interstitial cystitis or IC as I will refer to it, is estimated to affect anywhere from 4-12 million people in this country. Its categorized as a bladder condition that consists of multiple (and often different) symptoms. It is more commonly referred to in the medical community as Painful Bladder Syndrome, Pain Bladder Syndrome, or Chronic Pelvic Pain. You can read more about the different IC names here. It is found in men also.

Now, without giving you a bunch of medical info you are not interested in (I will do that at the end with links) I am going to give you my account of what IC is and how it was explained to me:

What it is: The inner lining of my bladder wall has somehow been compromised. I.E., scar tissue, persistent infection, cut or scrape.  It is important to note, there are different types of IC. Please consult a physician for a proper diagnosis.

What it feels like: A permanent urinary tract infection. Lots of cramping, pain. It tends to be the worst about my ovulation cycle and my menstrul period.

What happens when I have a flare: Each flare is different. They are unpredictable, there is no warning, and can be mild, to debilitating. Sometimes I am met with what feels like a horrible UTI, cramps, pain in my pelvic area or bladder, nausea, migraines, rolling headaches, leg cramps. Other times I have urinary frequency (sometimes as little as 30 seconds apart) and half of that time, I don't void anything at all. And rarely, I have all of the above symptoms.

What can be done? Currently there is no cure for IC. Diet plays a huge role for IC patients as certain foods are thought to trigger flares. For example, lemonade and cranberry juice are like battery acid for me. I have eliminated them completely from my diet. There are treatments, several in fact, but none of which are conclusive, and every IC patient is different. There is currently 1 FDA approved medication. Other therapies such as bladder rescue, physical therapy, antidepressants, surgical procedures, antihistamines, neuromodulation, and others are often used.


So now that I have given you the gist, I would like to preface the rest of this entry by saying ASK QUESTIONS! Lots of them. Odds are you know someone with IC or are suffering from it yourself. Get informed, find a good doctor, and keep your head up. Its a long, uncomfortable road. But I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel. Please get in touch with me for more info, or if you would just like to reach out!

Now let me get personal with this. A little over a year ago I woke up in the early morning house with what I felt, was a UTI. It was sudden, which was unlike any other UTI I have ever had, but it felt the same. I was on vacation, so I popped a Vicodin and went back to bed. I was a day away from home so I continued to treat with pain killers and OTC UTI meds until I returned home the next day.

Two days later I was in my primary care physician's office and they were prescribing me a medication because my urine had come back dirty. No surprise, I was on vacation and the night before I woke up in pain, I had a night of drinks, fun, and sex with my oh so sexy husband. In my experience, when I've gotten a UTI, its been from sex.

(I'll try to make this as short as possible). Weeks went by with the same pain. I switched antibiotics 3 times and nothing was helping this UTI pain. I turned to Dr Google. I came across some scary info about a condition called interstitial cystitis. Everything I read was horrifying and like most hypchondriancs, I convinced myself this is what I had and my life was over. I called my OB the next morning (after having read a blog about a girl who's OBGYN had diagnosed her) and got in the next day.

After weeks of tests, urine samples, medicines, and a catheter test, it was determined I did in fact have IC. Now the catheter test, some doctors swear by it, others (including my Urologist who specializes in IC) think its complete garbage. I happen to agree with her but I also feel like its a good tool to further your investigation. What happens is, they insert a catheter into your bladder. They give you 4 different mystery solutions. You are supposed to tell the doctor if any of the solutions make the pain worse. Mystery solution #2 was a winner for me. It was a potassium chloride, which is said to make enhance IC symptoms. The test isn't as widely used anymore for 2 reasons: low sensitivity & specificity, and its painful. I was down for 3 days after this test with an awful flare. There are also other conditions or diseases that mimic IC, so a lot of the time, its also diagnosed by process of elimination.

I started seeing my OBGYN 3 days a week (at $50 a pop!) for bladder rescues. They use a catheter to insert a numbing medication into the bladder, and it supposed to help with pain. I say supposed to because it works for some people. The numbing medication only worked when I had it in my bladder, the second I would urinate it out, the pain would be back. And I was getting chronic UTI's on top of the IC from all the catheters. I was constantly asking for pain medication, which is hard to convince a doctor for when you need it 24/7. I went through Vicodin, Percocet, Tramadol, and I was using OTC meds such as Benadryl, Tylenol, Aleve, Cystex, Peridium daily. Not good for the liver.

I finally decided to start asking questions because our current plan of attack was not working. I was miserable. My anxiety was through the roof, I was getting migraines and rolling headaches (something IC patients often report) and I was seeing doctor after doctor who had ZERO answers for me. I am not exaggerating when I say I saw over 10 different doctors for health issues I was dealing with, as a result of IC. I finally found a female Urologist who specializes in IC. She had made my life so much better. She listens. She's proactive. And now that I am an established patient, I can usually get a same day appointment if I need it. That is unheard of for a specialist of her nature. If you take anything away from this, please, find a good doctor. It may take months. It took me 6. DO NOT GIVE UP! There is someone out there who can help you, and who wants to.

To make a really long story short (I would love to share more if you are interested as I left out a lot of details to make this readable in less than a day. There is also some really good advocacy info in the links I will provide at the end) after countless appointments with random doctors and almost a year straight of being on pain killers, I finally have my IC in the works to be under control. I struggled for many nights, and I still do. There are days I can't get out of bed. There are days when I've questioned going to play in traffic. But... I have adjusted my diet. I am about to start physical therapy. I am exercising again (this is a really important aspect of treating IC as some exercises make the symptoms worse) and I feel good about my future. I am looking to have more kids; pregnancy is totally possible with IC! I still have lots of bad days, but I also have some good ones, which I never would have that when this all started. I should also point out that I suffer from kidney stones so the help I get from my urologist is two fold. I am kidney stone free for the first time in 12 years! That is huge.

I think its important for me to say that there is no scientific evidence to support that IC and Ovarian cancer have anything to do with the other. It just so happens that September is awareness month for both. I am also fortunate enough that IC won't kill me. It may make my life miserable at times, but I am one of the lucky ones. It could definitely be much worse. So please, be supportive for each other in any way that you can. Donate. Run a 5k. Wear a ribbon. And ask questions! It is important to spread the message.

Again, feel free to get in contact with me directly if you have any info, stories to share, or just want to reach out. I am considering my next entry to be about a pain treatment option I have recently taken up, and its not without some controversy! Dun dun dunnnn....!  I will also continue to update you on my progress, my good days, my bad days, and anything in between. Its out in the open now, the least I can do is share the rest of my story. I apologize for being so vague, I promise the story isn't so cut and dry, but I couldn't possibly share it all in just one entry. Do not hesitate to email me, tweet me, or leave a comment in the comments section. I hope to be hearing from you.

Hi. My name is Danielle. I have IC. I am a cat lady. I love leopard print. And life goes on! 

Please see below for some excellent resources regarding Ovarian Cancer and Interstitial Cystisis:

http://www.ovarian.org/

http://ovariancancerawareness.org/

American Cancer Society

www.ichelp.org

IC Network

Interstitial Cystitis Network Facebook page


Books for IC Patients:

The Interstitial Cystitis Survival Guide

The Better Bladder Book

A Taste Of The Good Life: A Cookbook for an Interstitial Cystitis Diet


Want to get involved? Click here to get a list of runs, walks, and other activities in your area!

September

It has been almost 4 months since I have written. Four. Fucking. Months. You know how it goes.

Me: "I swear I will write everyday!"

Blog: "Yea right. Just like you workout everyday?"

Me: "That was really harsh. I do think about you all the time, I just get uhh...busy."


Then my blog flips me off and we stay silent for awhile before finding our way back to each other. Such a love/hate relationship.

This summer was crazy. We traveled, a lot! It was so much fun getting to see different places and having new experiences with my boys. We of course traveled to Coeur D'Alene, our home away from home. It was fun. We swam in the lake. We kayaked (a first!). We SUP'd (if you don't know what this is, google. Now!). We are tons of great food. We had bonfires on the beach.  We enjoyed being outdoors in July (unheard of in Arizona). And then we realized we stayed too long. You know you are a crazy cat lady when you've been gone a mere 2 weeks and have a cry sesh about missing your kitty back home.

Anyway! We went to Seattle for a weekend which was great. Neither Mike or myself had ever been there. It was really expensive, which I didn't expect, and super busy. I love to travel to places in the off-seasons as I feel you get a much better experience. Note to self, try Seattle again in the fall. The famous Pike Place Market was amazing though...really. I wish we had stuff like that here in AZ.
We also did some camping, went to Disneyland, and spent a lot of time with family in Flagstaff....

Its now September 2nd, and my son has been in preschool for 3 weeks. What the hell happened? Where did the last 3 years of my life go? Insane. I've traded Karaoke Wednesdays for PTA and Room Representative meetings! My dream car is now a mini-van. No joke. Before you blast me, have you checked them out? Super convenient. And when you have 2 rambunctious boys (one being my husband) you want all the comforts you can get. Besides, we road trip, a lot. Would you be complaining if you were able to play your PS3 to pass the time? Didn't think so.

2013 is more than halfway over. Its been a great year so far. Lots of ups, lots of downs, but I honestly don't think I would change a thing right now. I said that to someone in a conversation the other day and they were completely surprised by my answer. I'll get to that in a minute. But I just have to say, we bought a hot tub. Hells yea we did! If you don't own one, I highly recommend. Sell your first born, whore out your sister, I don't really care how you get one, just do it. What it has done for our quality of life is unmeasurable. Its the perfect place to unwind, have a cocktail, smoke a joint, or just have a nice chat with my husband after a chaotic day. Anyway... I had a loss this year, the loss of a good friend (not dead, just drifted apart). We've been friends for 10 years and literally just stopped talking. Weird right? Okay, I am kind of, sort of lying...there was a tiny falling out. But nothing that warranted the end of our friendship. To protect the other party, I won't get into details. No drama for your llama!

For months I was so mad. All I could think was "we were never the friends I thought we were". And the truth is, we weren't. We were more. You didn't say ones name without the other. We could finish each other's sentences. I could know what she was thinking with just a funny look. Soul mates. Sisters.

I was pretty devastated, although I never shed a tear. Which was weird. I once cried because my cat looked at me funny. But after not having her in my life for awhile, I realized, I'll be okay. Life will go on as it tends to do, and I'll come out the other side, just as I've always done when I thought I couldn't go on anymore. I'll always love her, and she will always have a very special place in my heart. We are just on two different paths in life, and that is okay. I have nothing bad to say about her, and I will probably junk punch you if you do. I want the every best for her and her life, whatever that may mean.

For the longest time I had it in my head that we all needed to walk the same path. How could we be friends if we weren't going to end up in the same places? There were 4 of us to begin with and slowly but surely 2 left our lives and the strongest 2, the closest 2, remained. The other truth is, we were just meant to be friends. We were never on the same path, and made it work for 10 years. We went to college different places. We had different taste (still do!) in guys. We have different styles. I'm not even sure we liked the same foods. But we made it work because it was important. My hope is that maybe somewhere down the line it will be again. Someone once gave me advice that has stuck with me forever, and its definitely one of my go-to's: "Nothing is ever set in stone." Old friend, if you are reading this, know that I think about you often, and I hope you are finding your happiness.

I hope anyone reading this will stop and take a look at the relationships in your life. They are important. And its important to make an effort, even when you know they haven't. I made a lot of excuses as to why I didn't call or email. And right now, as I type this, I'm still too prideful to make that first phone call (let's be honest, I wasn't the only flake. Jack and I are still waiting on that phone call for the zoo!).  Is it hypocritical of me to tell you to examine your own life and relationships and to make an effort when I won't? Probably. But you cannot fault me for never being honest. I want the best for you, too!  Seriously, I do. If you are reading this, you were apart of my life in some way, at one point or another. Maybe one day I will learn to let my guard down. I can tell you this, I was a good friend. I am a good friend to the people still in my life. I will move heaven and earth for my friends, my loved ones, but I do expect the same in return.

The older I get, which is happening a lot faster than I'd like, the more I realize two things are truly important in life: the people you surround yourself with. And a great handbag.